My Knitting Is Trying to Kill Me!

February 28, 2019

In one sense, sure, of course my knitting is trying to kill me.  I could be out playing lacrosse, raising my heart rate, but instead I'm sitting (in an extremely comfortable chair), moving my hands around slightly. Luckily I try to work hard to compensate (hello, Fitbit and Gold's Gym), but still, it's not the world's healthiest hobby.

 

But lately, my knitting has taken a turn for the dark side.  It's actively plotting against me, to the extent that any random collection of pointy sticks and soft plied strands of fibers can.  

 

I first noticed it in my elbow.  Somehow the repetitive motion of moving stitches to and fro has caused a bursitis in my elbow, normally only seen in the elbows of Victorian scrubwomen who specialize in floors. Off I rushed to Emergency, where I was quickly diagnosed, told it wasn't blood poisoning (I'd feared the worst, especially after my boss told me "Go to emergency—my husband had that and it was blood poisoning!")  So now I can't wear short-sleeved shirts 'cause I look like a monster (or, at the very least, like a normal human man with a slight swelling at the elbow).  

 

But it gets worse.  Not content with inflicting a non-life-threatening condition upon me, my knitting has gone one step better: it tried to arrange an "accident."  There I am, in California, on a dark Palo Alto suburban street, happily putting my project bag in the back of the rental car.  Unbeknownst to me, a ball of Swans Island's Ikat Firefly yarn in the Stone Wall colourway leaps out of my bag and onto the ground (project shown below):

And with one end connected to my scarf/shawl (still in the bag), and the other end rolling quietly down the street, what could be more natural than to accidentally step into the yarn, hooking it with my leg, and then getting into the driver's seat? So of course that's what happened.

 

As I drive away, at first I fail to notice the yarn wrapped around my foot.  I'm driving off, the ball of yarn is remaining behind, unravelling itself at about 40 miles per hour.  And then (maybe I went over a bump, or something) the yarn gets caught in the wheel, tightens around my foot, and ...

 

... thankfully ...

 

snaps.

 

If it were a ball of metal wire, I'd be pretty irked right now! Not once have I ever thought to myself "Hey, wouldn't it be great if this pesky left foot just wasn't attached to my ankle any more?" 

 

So I get out of the car, retrace my steps, find the ball of yarn at my starting point, follow the strand back to the snapping place, winding all the while, and then (they're separate strands now, of course) I wind the snapped yarn back to the project, and it's all together, and I have both my feet, and most importantly: I'm on to you, knitting.  Fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice, shame on me.  Won't let my guard down so easily next time!

 

Oh well, off to dye some yarn. Apparently it's all a bit caustic and I shouldn't breathe it in, but what's the worst that could happen?

 

On the Needles (and actively being worked on):

  • Itineris Shawl (I'll pretend it's a scarf. I'm on the third repeat)

  • Sophie's Universe crochet project #1 (doing extra rounds, to turn it into a queen-size bedspread, I'm on round 120, or 7 past the official stopping point))

  • Persian Dreams Blanket (round 30 of Hexagon 8) 

  • Caldwell Vest (up to 5th stripe of the back)

  • Grey Intarsia Vest (my own pattern, almost finished the first set of squares which will be more like rectangles, I think)

  • Hat (my own pattern, using Japanese Knitting Stitch Bible Pattern #52 for its motif) 

 

 

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